Instagram, I’m breaking up with you. Facebook? I need some space. Pinterest – this time around, it’s not me actually, it’s you. This social media trifecta has, for quite some time, been my escape, my mind-numbing scrolling past time, often times my inspiration, but more often than not, the root of my discontent.
Yes, I’m going to take a hiatus from social media. I feel that this has been a long time coming. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not all anti social media. I have been able to remain connected with people who otherwise may have slipped through the cracks. I’ve been inspired to try different recipes, crafts, designs, and workouts. I’ve found online communities who have encouraged me when I’m struggling in my parenting or my faith or my relationships.
BUT. I’ve also been living with a great deal of anxiety. I have used social media to escape from screaming children, from to-do lists, from difficult conversations that I should have with Jeff, from pursuing the hobbies that bring me joy, from truly connecting with the circle of people who are most important to me. Feeling down? Let’s see who has posted a new Instagram story. Feeling bored? Let’s see what’s for sale on Facebook Marketplace. Feeling uninspired? Let’s see what new home design DIYs are pinned on Pinterest. Except that each time I log off, I don’t necessarily feel fulfilled, inspired or entertained. Quite the contrary. I feel anxious.
Living with anxiety is relatively new to me. Or not so much. I guess it’s the actual term of living with it that’s new to me. I’ve always teetered on the edge of perfectionism, never truly relaxing because I’ve believed that what I’ve done or who I am has never really been enough…despite the love and support of my wonderful husband and beautiful girls. I’m beginning to accept that it’s my thing to deal with. And that’s ok. Living with anxiety. It doesn’t mean that I’m broken, or more fragile. It just means that I need to be more aware of the things that trigger discontent and inadequacy.
And right now, one of those things is social media. So for the next month, I’m officially going to take a step back. I’m going to take the time to disconnect to reconnect with the people who are most important to me, to pursue the things that bring me joy, to live a life a little less “notified.” I’m going to take this time to tap into a little inner peace and a lot less comparison.
It’s only one month. But who knows, it may go longer. If you really need to notify me of something, feel free to email me, call me, text me or good ol’ fashioned snail mail me. Or even better yet, let’s meet face-to-face.
(I hope to still blog a bit. In all likelihood, I’ll have more time to blog now…but I’m not putting myself under that pressure.)